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nc - snapchat: fussellally - 🏳️🌈
we’re going to be that skinny bitch by christmas this year
here’s the plan:
rules:
safe foods:
- apples
- all greens
- oatmeal
- chicken
- turkey
- gum
- egg whites
dangerous foods:
- instant noodles
- chips
- fries
- fried food
- fast food
- most dairy
- meat
- butter
- anything i don’t know exact calories of
p o i n t s :
0-500 calories - 6 points
hour of exercise - 5 points
eat a non safe food - (-1)
eat over 1000 calories - (-8)
p r i z e s
10 points - nail polish
15 points - candle
30 points - dollar tree trip
With the big calves that you think nobody with appreciate…
With the rolls that you try to hide do hard because society encourages being stick thin or a pseudo type of thick.
With the stretch marks that you constantly search Google for a remedy for.
This is for y'all. 💋 I see yall.
Y'all be fine as hell.
Fuck oversized sweaters. When I get thin I’ll wear shit that shows just how hard I worked.
Imagine walking down the street or down a hallway and having your thighs breeze past each other without touching. It will be flirtatious, and in the spring all the wind and flowers will just float right through the gap in your thighs. The way you walk will be graceful. Like a delicate angel, a perfect nymph that glides instead of stomps.
Imagine in summer when the aqua waves lap around your waist and nearly knock you over. Your flat waist will be perfect for holding when your friends or family toss you easily into the air and then into the cool water. You’ll wear a bikini proudly, any bikini you want. You’ll feel more comfortable tanning like a goddess when your stomach doesn’t roll around without you doing anything.
Imagine when as Autumn sets in and you think of your crush wrapped in a blanket with you, watching a scary movie together. His hand reaches around you and he can actually touch your other shoulder. He won’t be disgusted with the flab hanging off your limbs like dead weight. And if you’re skinny enough, he may even kiss you.
Imagine being perfect even in winter. While everyone else looks like walking marshmallows in their coats and scarves you’ll still be as small and delicate as the snow falling onto your hair. You will be able to leave little to no footprint in the snow, and they will all see you as a light little bird gliding across the blizzard.
Being skinny isn’t just for pictures. It’s for living without chains that hold you back by the skin, preventing you from having joy in your life. It doesn’t matter when season it is, there is always something that will be better if you are skinny. So don’t give up. And lose that weight.
☁️
For the skinny jeans
For the mini skirts
For the crop tops
For the short shorts
For the bikinis
For the stares
For the fun
For the satisfaction
For the confidence
For the happiness
For You
Pretty much for my entire life, since I was a child I’ve loved bologna. One of my favorite things was always a peanut butter & bologna sandwich. However much I loved the taste of bologna though, I always dreaded eating the red band around the bologna. I thought it was a part of the bologna! Nobody ever told me that it wasn’t, sadly. Every time I would eat it, also, I would soon thereafter have stomach pains. But I loved the taste so much, so that was an okay tradeoff I guess.
Anyways, I’m 25 now, and a few weeks ago I was making me one of my beloved PB&J + Bologna sandwiches within presence of a friend of mine. After making it, they’re like, “What the hell? You eat the plastic?” And I was stunned. I was like, what the hell are you talking about? They told me that it was plastic around the bologna and not to eat it. I removed it, and was absolutely amazed at how much better it tasted. Ever since, I can actually eat bologna without the stomach aches that accompany it. I feel embarrassed that I didn’t learn this until a quarter of a century of my life. I had to share, because stupidity sells.
so my grandmother just told me a joke…
“Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?”
“I dunno, ‘cause flowers are pretty cool?”
“In loving memory of all the faces that were buried there.”
i just like omg grandMA NO
Grandma yes
I just tried to tell this to my girlfriend.
Me: Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
Her: Oh, I know this! It has to do with the plague back in the 1500s. You see, [explanation of plague stuff]
Me: In… In loving memory of all the faces that were buried there.
Her: What?
Me: It’s a joke. It was just a joke.